Updated: May 19, 2021
"Be mindful of your self-talk. It's a conversation with The Universe." -David James Lee
Programs. Windows. Tabs. Scripts.
How many do you have running? What are yours telling you?
There seems to be this understood norm that if your brain isn't overloaded and you aren't drowning in self-loathing you are somehow not getting it right. I am here to tell you that that is just not the case.
I don't know about you, but I can get so caught up in the middle of this life I am living. My brain switches over to "constant alert" mode when things feel like they are spiraling out of control. A running list piles up on mental Post-its, basically shouting all of the things I should be doing at any given moment. It gets really loud!
No wonder I feel so awful.
When my brain is that noisy, everything else--my relationships, my workouts, my schedule, my thoughts, my pace of living, my state of being--takes on this frantic, frenzied energy that gets really hard to shake. When I have too many tabs open in my brain, scripts can keep running without my awareness and before I know it, I am treading water in the deep end.
I am exhausted just thinking about it.
Awareness is the first step on the way out of the dark. With regular practice of nonjudgemental observation when you slip into that mode, more and more loving thoughts will begin to show up naturally. Pause and notice what you are telling yourself in those dizzy moments. If you find fear, shame, and doubt, acknowledge them and simply give them space to be.
You are not your thoughts.
Shining light into the shadows empowers you with information about what is. When you embrace the truth of the present moment, the unknown can no longer write your story. Acceptance can then give way to gratitude. As soon as you focus on gratitude, even more things to be grateful for will show up! You will begin to transform those flimsy walls you've been building into a house with a solid foundation. The way forward won't feel so hard because you will be focused on where you are rather than a script about where you should be going.
Your heart knows the way.
When you actively notice and embrace reality, you will begin to ask rather than tell yourself what you need, and the quiet you have been cultivating will allow you to actually hear the answer. Take the breath, watch the show, sleep the extra hour, go for the run, cook the yummy meal, read the book on your bedside table that's collecting dust. Connecting with the things that make your light brightest will stir up a love for your life and for the person living it. There is no hurry. It is all unfolding. You are doing the thing. Right now.
Every January I follow a thirty-day yoga journey and I usually practice a few times a week over the following year. This time, I decided to commit to showing up on my mat every day of 2021, whatever that looks like. Five minutes is better than forcing forty-five if I don't have the energy or the brain space. Taking the time for daily practice has kept my cup full and the way it overflows into my life has been the most beautiful gift.
About a month ago, I had O take some silly photos of me that I planned to use for String of Lights. It was so much fun and brought me so much joy that I shared them excitedly in a text to Evan.
He replied, "Look at this goof. I love her."
My response spilled out without a thought:
"I love her too."
What an absolute miracle.
You cannot get it wrong.
Thank you for joining me. I am so glad you’re here!